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The Clown Prince of the Internet - Q&A With Comedian Daniel Tosh of "Tosh.0"

The world of the internet - with all of its Tweeting, poking, blogging and YouTube videos starring dancing cats and lip-synching teens - seems more ridiculous than it already is on comedian Daniel Tosh's "Tosh.0" on Comedy Central.

 Tosh.0, which will air new episodes starting tonight at 9:30 CST, features a segment called Web Redemption, where he tracks down "celebrities" of the web - like the Nintendo 64 Kid or the trampled cheerleader and gives them a chance to try again or fail once more. Using the archaic object called the telephone, Tosh spoke to me about the show and why he prefers the Cubs over the Sox.
 See, you're from Chicago so you're naturally a racist. No, there's nowhere in Chicago I avoid, I've been to Chicago a bunch, it's a good comedy town. I don't know the town that well. I stay downtown, I take walks, I try to get by the water if possible. There's only three weeks a year it's nice there anyway.

I did actually just watch a video on the internet of a fight in the stands of a White Sox game and it was crazy - dude just gives this guy a haymaker and knocks him cold. I guess that's why I prefer the Cubs, because they're a bunch of sissies.

Is the Internet really stupid, or does it just seem that way on your show?

I would assume it just seems that way on our show, we filter all the brilliant stuff out and we focus on the borderline retarded.
What's the internet better for, funny viral videos or porn?

Porn. There's no debating that. Basically the reason the internet exists is because of porn.

Who would be a great candidate for a Web Redemption you haven't gotten on the show yet?

There's still tons of people - The Star Wars kid, the Grape Stomp lady, you know I'd still love to get Michael Richards to do a set at a black comedy club but I doubt that's going to happen anytime soon. I'd also love to get the guy whose gun went off at a gun safety course because I just can imagine the things we could do with him in front of children that probably shouldn't be done.

You never know what you're going to get when you contact some of these people, they don't have publicists, getting a hold of them is a nightmare. And then when you do, a lot of these people are insane! The Average Homeboy, that guy, we interviewed him but I think he had like three prepared lines and I don't think he muttered a single word outside of those prepared lines. I sort of felt like I was looking into the eyes of a literal psychopath. There is that reality of, you have no idea who is showing up. I would think we should maybe start doing background checks.

Maybe background checks aren't part of Comedy Central's budget.

It really must come down to that. Because it really comes down to the fact that sometimes I'm like 'Ok, I think we're in the presence of a murderer.' But oh well, we'll keep doing it.

Do you have a favorite viral video?

No, not really, though there are definitely videos that I like. I'm actually dying to know if this video we're using this week, if they actually let us use it on the air. It's where a kid in the Middle East at a wedding shoots his father in the chest. It's like a two years old too, and if I can tell you, it's like the funniest thing I've ever seen.

I guess there's no web redemption for that video?

Yeah, I think both parties have to be alive for that to really pan out properly.

Have you ever gotten actually hurt doing anything for the show? I'm thinking in particular of the surprise trust falls.

Those surprise trust falls, that was an awful idea. I didn't forsee that people would actually be doing that to me on the street in public. So now when I'm out, people think it's hysterical to trust fall into me. So that has backfired nicely.

You seem to end up in some pretty ridiculous costumes. What might be
in store for us for the new episodes?

Just try to get me to keep my clothes on. Impossible. The only way I'll ever stop doing those awful things is if for one second someone thinks: 'I bet that guy thinks his body looks good.' If there's anyone that thinks I'm not just mocking myself, and how horrible I look, that would get me to stop. Like I ever actually started saying 'Hey, I'm in show business now, I should probably start working out and get a better body' - then I would kill all the ridiculous outfits and nudity scenes immediately.

One thing is certain, I won't be wearing the fruit costumes that people on the website recommended.

Describe your body.

I'm the most out of shape, skinny person in the world. There's no strength, I'm just blessed with a high metabolism. I haven't done anything to gain any muscle mass in my entire life.

That's too bad, because I'm actually doing this interview for Men's Health.

Sure, just photoshop me like you do everyone else.

Tosh in The Love Guru

For those who haven't seen the movie "The Love Guru," - describe your role as "Cowboy Hat."

Let me tell you something, I think I was underused.

A real good friend of mine had a friend who wrote the movie, and he said, 'Hey we have a part for that movie, do you want it?' I said sure, I read the script and it sounded awful. I had no idea that it'd be an all-time classic bad movie, but yeah it was retarded, I don't really audition for anything so if someone offers me something, I'll usually say yes. And I'm not saying this to sound cool or anything but I've never actually seen the movie. I watched the trailer, because I was in it, but I felt like that was pretty much enough to fulfill my obligation.

I didn't do my homework because I haven't seen it either.
Time to queue it up. I think Netflix has one copy.

What else are you doing besides Tosh.0 these days?

I'm taping a one hour special. It'll be my third special called Happy Thoughts and I'm taping that in San Francisco, airing when season 2 ends in October. Then I'll be going on a world tour that only focuses on the United States - 60 cities, starting at the end of September,  coming to Chicago on November 12 at the Chicago Theater.

Random question. Today I came out of GameStop and a guy that just got out of jail forced me to buy his used Xbox games because GameStop wouldn't take them. What would you have done in that situation?

I have no idea what I'd do, my natural instincts are literally to turn into a woman and run. That just sounds awful. I wouldn't have touched anything, I would assume you're contaminated, I would assume you're going to go to prison too for what's on there.

Maybe he'll show up on your show at some point!